Another Phone Call...

Donna came zooming into the living room, her voice animated, if still a bit raspy. "Its' Patrick", she mouthed. She continued talking and asking and asking more and...being a Mom. Part of my brain was extremely happy he was calling and a small, dark corner was saying- "Its' Thursday night, you can't call from BCT on Thursday night!". Donna and Patrick continued to talk, I sat waiting my turn, trying to be cool and patient. Donna asked if he had a time limit, "Nope!". She asked if he'd been issued his weapon, "I have an M-16 strapped on my back!" he replied proudly. They talked about the dogs, Donna told him that they missed him, she asked about sending pictures, all the little questions and comments that have been bottled up for close to two weeks.

By now I was getting a bit antsy, awaiting my turn.

"Are you there Bud?" a long pause. "Do you have to go??"..."Are you in trouble?"..."I Love You!" CLICK.

I didn't get a chance to talk to Patrick tonight. That's OK. The last time he called, Donna's voice had left for a several days due to laryngitis, she could barely squeak out "I love you". But I had SO MANY questions, a load of glib Dad comments, quasi-insights and other Dad stuff I wanted to say to him.

The hard part is that we don't know if he's in trouble (I've not heard of phone privileges on a Thursday evening in BCT), we just don't know. Its' been said by many others, the NOT KNOWING is the hard part! I spent 18 years as the Dad, doing my best to know what he was up to, occasionally turning a blind eye, trusting that he would be home that night, the next day, but being able to have knowledge, impart my so-called wisdom, to be a Dad and to KNOW what was going on. Tonight Patrick is 1000+ miles away, we won't know the story of what happened tomorrow, or probably not the next day or the next day or... I don't know if he's in trouble and it is very unsettling.

To those of you with deployed family- I admire you immensely. How you contend with the not knowing is beyond me! Perhaps its' an acquired skill, but it sure isn't a skill I have yet!

PS- Due to problems with our internet connection I didn't get this post up last night.

Letters Home

My wife and I are like goofy teenagers when we look through the days mail. Even my daughter...the always low key, mega-cool one, was excited when she told us that there was a letter from Patrick! Actually two more letters yesterday. One written while still in Reception and the other from BCT.

When he wrote the letter from Reception he was still figuring on being there for several more days, maybe a week. He was bored and anxious to move on. His time in the Army must be changing him already...he mentioned that a fair part of the time in Reception was spent cleaning the bays, and then he followed with one of the most stunning things he's ever said "...and I liked it." Liked it? Cleaning? Patrick? Wow, the Army really does change them! He mentioned that they had worked with some NCOs that were re-upping and he really enjoyed that. Patrick was bummed that some of his new buddies were shipping out to Basic the next day. He REALLY wanted to get on with Basic.

Well, it must have come as a big surprise to Patrick when he shipped out for Basic the next day as well!

In his letter from Basic it seems he's pretty homesick, very happy with the guys he's with and very emphatic about how much they need to rely on one another. All good signs! His insight on the Drill Sergeants was that they were "strict, and they're not nice, but they're fair and sometimes it's almost like they are actually taking care of us." He's letting the days tick by, not dwelling on any one aspect of it and working to absorb the info and roll with the punches.

I'm hoping and praying his attitude holds, its' very reassuring to read what he has written so far, to see the positive attitude and "soldier on" approach. I'm impressed with the changes in such a short time...but I know he'll face some big tests in the days and weeks ahead.

My wife, Donna, and I, have a couple of projects this weekend. First we're taking Pizzas over to his recruiting station. His recruiter is a great guy and seems to have set Patrick on the right path for his Army career. We're extremely grateful. Then we're fixing the flag mount on the porch, flying a new American Flag, and adding an Army flag as well.

That's it for this exciting update- tune in again for more.

PS Sorry for for for the multiple posts of this Entry...blogger.com kept getting hung up on 0% published...so I kept trying! Doooh!

Reflex

re-flex [noun; ree-fleks]
7. any automatic, unthinking, often habitual behavior or response.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1)

We're dealing with reflexes these days, and learning to adjust them. Little things, like how many green beans we buy, like sitting around the fire pit late at night and seeing lights in the driveway and having the thought "Patrick's home". Chores undone, laundry still scattered about (there's something that will be a big learning experience), so many little things. Action and Reaction. The normal patterns, assumptions and mechanics of our household are being re-calibrated. We're learning, we're adjusting, its' just different.

Update- We got a letter today! Very cool! Mind you this is the kid who sent zero letters during his German trip last year, in fact he called but once, upon arrival and the only other communcation was when talked with him on AIM and he mentioned in the offhand manner that only a teenager can do, "I think I lost my passport." (We did solve that little issue). It was a short note written while he was still in Reception. At that time he was expecting to be there for some time, perhaps two weeks...he shipped to BCT the next day. He was not happy about the shaved head, but was excited about his ACUs. And there was something about the Drill Seargents being mean. He pointed out in the next sentence that he knew they'd be meaner in BCT. Homesick and anxious to get on with Basic.

Blog Exploration

So after my first post, and its' (now corrected) reference to a lack of parental milblogs from the point-of-view of an ignorant Army parent whose child is at the very beginning of their military career, I decided to do a bit more looking around.

What I found was a wide variety of blogs from just the point of view I wanted! One of them so closely mirrors my son that it is sorta spooky. Additionally I found a great blog, based on a journal of a recent BCT grad chronicling his journey through BCT. Once I get my blog-ability to a level past ultra-beginner, I will post the links for these sites..

More later...

Not Even a Week...

I asked my wife today if it seems like Patrick's been gone for much longer than the six days its' been. Her answer was just as I expected, "It seems like he's been gone forever." Now while he's a bit of a homebody he has been away from home before, a week here and there, last summer he spent a month in Germany. And that whole month didn't seem as long as these past six days. I think I know why. Its' because we know that he won't ever be back again under the same circumstances. When he comes home next, hopefully at Christmas-time, it will be for a visit. Just like when he went to Germany for a VISIT. His childhood home is where he comes for a visit now. And that is what is hard to adjust to.

He called a couple of more times this week. Very Cool! First time was on Tuesday from Reception. He thought he'd be in reception for several more days, maybe a week. He sounded more at ease but bored with Reception. He wanted to get the show on the road. He said he'd hopefully call us this weekend. Next call came Thursday night. I picked up my wife's cell (she has a case of laryngitis and can barely croak or whisper) and hear a hurried "pickup Pickup PICKUP". "Dad I only have a minute or so, I'm shipping out for Basic tonight." We had a 30 second conversation, he voice was hurried, tense, excited and ready to get on with it. He talked to his Mom for a few seconds, she managed to croak out an "I Love You."...and he was on his way.

It seems like forever and its' not even a week.

Background

Day 1 is posted, but a little background and a bit of an update is in order.

Background- It happened quite some time ago, years actually, but I can remember it as clear as if was yesterday, I even remember where we were standing in the house. My son came up to me, he was maybe 12 years old at the time and said, "Dad, I don't want a desk-job, I don't want to sit and just work all day in an office." My reply swiftly rolled out, "Join the Army". As the years ticked by, we spoke of the Army frequently. Before long high school came, and I figured he might cool to the idea. Girls, cars, college, whatever, something else would grab his interest. Still he still talked of enlisting. He was getting serious. At this point OIF II was well under way (spring 2005), he and I had discussed the fact that the Army is for real. It isn't the movies, it isn't about glory, it is as REAL as it gets, and people die. His intentions never wavered. Finally I told him we were off to the recruiters. I wanted to see if he was talk or action. His focus narrowed even more. His trips to the recruiters became more frequent, he took his ASVAB and just crushed it. Finally he came and told us that the recruiter would like Mom and Dad to come in for a talk. We went and sat for an hour or so, asked some questions and told our son and his recruiter that we were 100% behind his decision. His 18th birthday was a week away. He scheduled his first MEPs visit two days after his 18th birthday and damned near forgot to tell us he was taking his oath that day as well. "Its' no big deal," were his words, "its' just part of the job." And that's how we got to where we are today!

By way of introducing myself- I'm 51, I've been married to the same, very tolerant and understanding woman for 30 years. In addition to my son I have a daughter age 16. I have not had the honor of serving in the military...in spite of all the stupid things I have done and the bad decisions I have made, THAT is my one and only regret in life. I'm a financial planner/retirement plan specialist. I spent many years as a Graphic Designer prior to my career change. For as long as I can remember I've been attracted to the military. I almost joined in 1971. My brother was in the Navy and thought the military would be "good for me". I took the tests, qualified to do pretty much anything I wanted, took my physical and wimped out. My rationale- the Navy was boring sounding, it was the end of the Vietnam War and the military had a pretty low standing in society, the doctors were mean at the physical, but the bottom line is unlike my son, I wimped out. I was too damned old when the Gulf War occurred and I'm WAY too damned old now! DAMN!

Update-My son arrived at Fort Sill, and is currently in the reception battalion. He's managed to call twice in the last three days. Upon completion of BCT he'll be off to Fort Huachuca for AIT. His contracted MOS is serious...and someting we aren't privelidged to. He sounds nervous, excited and homesick all rolled into one. He's been probed, poked, inoculated, shorn, given his ACUs and is anxious to get on with BCT. I can tell he's a bit homesick...and I know we're really missing him. Such is the eternal cycle of life.

Finally, I'd like to solicit information, stories and so on from other "ignorant", but learning, military parents. There is a lot of info out there on enlisting, on what to expect during BCT and so on, but there seems to be a lack of info from the parents point of view. (OK-I STAND CORRECTED, I'VE FOUND A GOOD NUMBER OF PARENT BLOGS re: BCT, ETC. dohhh) I know there are blogs by parents of deployed Soldiers and Marines, but I haven't seen anything by a parent of a raw recruit! And that ladies and gentlemen is my motivation!

Please send your stories and advice, your wisdom and knowledge! I'd like to make this blog a collaborative endeavor...but I NEED input! No matter if your an old hand at being a military parent or a new one like my wife and myself, we welcome, no we NEED your input!

Thanks and tune in again for the next exciting episode of ARMY DAD.

Just a start...

Day 1-
My son is REALLY in the Army now. I thought he was when he took his oath in February '06...he went into the DEP program. Yesterday, September 18, '06 on a nasty, chilly, rainy morning in Detroit he took the REAL oath, boarded a bus, and left the comforts of home for a new life. Damn I'm proud of him and damn I'm sad to see him go.

This blog will be my catharsis, my vent, my stories, as the old man who wishes he was younger and could take the same oath my son did.

If by some chance you read this blog, it will contain my ignorant "insights" into a soldiers life from the point of view of the "old man", it'll be part personal observation on what its' like to be a parent of a soldier as he goes through Basic, AIT and beyond, a dose of politics, perhaps the occasional rant, a good measure of my opinions and maybe, just maybe some input from the Army Mom...

And so the story begins...